Isn't it amazing,
how life ends up happening just when you try to make a change for yourself?
And isnt it amazing, that life also happens how you sometimes don't wish it to happen?
And again, isn't it amazing how it turns out that life how it happened was what you actually needed?
Life, amazes me.
Some memories from babyhood are still with me, how i wandered away from home one evening with some neighbourhood children, and my ma came searching for me. Remember sitting in dirt, playing with dust, in some dark corner. Hadn't my ma found me, i would probably be a part of the lost kids statistics. Not who i am today. Though i dread to think what my parents would have done. Remember getting my head stuck in a wooden garden gate. And how they coaxed me to get it out. Another incident,when i fell off into a drain, and how i sat in my classroom, in just my chemise and bloomers till my school uniform dried out :). All this in Kanpur.
Don't remember much of my thoughts till i was say 8.
Learnt that fantasy and a l'il ol' bit of white lies came in to my vocabulary.
Aravankadu - where my dad was posted next, was mostly hospital trips and how i adulted enough to accompany my brother to the Medical room. How we walked to get our shots. My dad's office just near the main gate. Some random memories of Ooty, Dodabetta and Coonoor. Wellington Staff College, Botanical gardens and the endless coffee plantations. My kid brother's operation and how my mom prayed all the time for him to get out of anaesthesia after the gig. Dr Sayal! Wonder where he is these days. He was a strength for my parents.
Fast forward to Dad's next posting .. Jabalpur. St. Joseph's Convent. Learning to write and converse in Hindi. Mrs Anne Dsouza , whom i adored while being shit scared, and Mrs Lauren Dsouza who, seeing my needlework doily with lazy daisy stitch, called me Lazy. Getting royally insulted in class was probably the norm on those schools. Shamed into performance or shamed out of studying, whatever you would chose to do.Living in a residential colony surrounded by boys, and becoming somewhat of a tomboy myself. The garden full of fruit trees, guavas, mangoes, bananas, neem, papaya. The "haud" at the back of the house, the kitchen garden. That little mountain or call it a hillock, behind my home, where we would carry some snacks and sandwiches for impromptu picnics. Where we found many quartz and crystal stones. Pathbaba temple, Deluxe cinema, Sadar, Coffee House, PK Book Store and Modern Stores. Amar Chitra Katha that we read standing in PK book store. Chandamama , Parag, Nandan and Champak ... We read a lot. And the softy icecream, and the first time we started getting pocket money, a right royal amount 15 ps. a week ;which went on to 25 ps or 4 annas a week over the next two years :)
Dad and Ma would take us on a weekly outing. And a dosa or idli at the Indian Coffee house which was usually followed by a softy ice cream at Modern Stores And the Meetha Pan, somewhere near Delight Talkies , Civil Lines.
Dad getting us bubblegum :) and Mom reprimanding him for that. That was childhood fun.
Falling terribly sick during a holiday to Chandigarh and Delhi, with Malaria and Typhoid together. Didn't do anything half way there too. My first hospitalization in Safdarjung hospital (the loos were dirty even then). And spending a month or more at Masis in Panchsheel. Realizing that your being ill does not spare you from molestation. So what if it was a cousin with his experimentation! Living with that guilt.
Then Dad moved to Ambajhari. Teenage happened and all the memories and angst of growing up happened there. My parents decided i could go to Central School. Why i need to ask them. the kids were rude, they were mean and they were bitchy like hell. Took a whole lot of time to get adjusted to the environment. Hated school, had hardly any friends. And was always filled with angst. And against this, my brother went to another school. so i missed a buddy and a pal. School life was good and bad, the good may have outweighed the bad in the long run, but thinking back about it, i feel sorry for the poor kid. To be the favourite of teachers, and the butt of all jokes of classmates. to be a plump kid always dreaming and be ragged day in day out. Didn't really make many friends. Some i did, some stayed, some hung around, some fate kept throwing back. Guess i wasn't done with them. First crushes, and stupidities. How i always had a crush on someone who had a crush on someone else. Like i was never enough. NOt pretty enough, not smart enough, not enough. It is that all children go through this phase? Or was it me?
Leaving school. Topping in Maths thanks to Dad, and in Social Studies thanks to Ma. And yes, Tuli Madam. i remember her. I loved some teachers and detested some. Tolerated some. But learnt i could sing, enjoyed plays and also HOckey.. Siddiqui sir. And volleyball, which i think i liked better than hockey. But the hockey team was what went on to get fame. And it was a large enough team, so found some space in it, and some grudging friendships. SFS college, seminary hills and Vinita Sharma. Some friends then, there, now lost. And haven't been able to find Chandrakant. I wonder where he is, and hope he is well. Was a solid buddy. Strange, met while playing hockey for the college, and some friendships stick. Kept bumping into him for years, and later on him and his wife.
Institute of Science .. Padma came into my life. Somewhere we clicked. Also because fate threw us together and then we were neighbours. Best few years of my life. Incessant chatter, our bus runs, Maharajbagh, bhajiyas at thelas, and chai. And those absolutely killer spicy samosas at Buldi Bus stand. Naren, Anil, Kaushal, Rajesh, Sandeep, Pawan, Jaideep. Naren and Anil came as a set of twins, as I and Padma were. They stuck together like siamese twins. Kaushal was someone who got in gradually. Somewhere, he became my best friend, someone who understood me,and whom i understood, without words. Admired that Kid. Sad, fate took him away too soon. Those were some good years. Rajesh, whom i made it a point to fight with EACH and EVERY year. God, was he painful in his tight white jeans, and those cowboy boots and hat. He's much the same still, but guess, we have gotten used to him being what he is. His crush on Sunita, and how she tagged him along like a pup. How i smile at those memories. Nostalgia. Pawan who was Kaushals' sidekick. And well, i guess we were popular with the guys as there were some very pretty girls in ambajhari the guys wanted intros to.
i always though Naren had a thing for Padma, but then Naren had a thing for Neeta, Anita, Sangeeta, Papeeta all eeta. Permanent Late Lateef Naren. Jaita with her soft spot for Naren and Kaushal and kaushal blushing on being teased. It was later in the PG did Jaita develop a crush on Sunil. Guess they both had/have something.. a connect beyond, which is cute.
Left Institute to do my MBA while the rest continued to do their Masters in Science. Did i gain, did i lose. Friends i missed. made some. the Late Shilpa Rathi, Nishat Nanjiani. The rest i wasnt very friendly with. Made an enemy of Yagya when we did the project together, used her help to go to the project, but wasnt thankful enough.
The slog to get a job after graduation. MBA with no prospects as it wasnt a top tier institute and Nagpur had no jobs. Some small time assignments. Some growing up experiences. Padma's marriage and then the arrival of Jeet, Nephew no. 1. Padma's son :)
More meetings with Kaushal, and developing a kinship with him. Truly special. A pretty platonic love. But deep. Surprising how people mistake that for romantic love. Could have been, could not have been, who knows. We didn't let it develop much there.
Naren somehow went missing here. I dont remember where he was. Uni doing his MPhil? Sandeep became a dear friend. Still is. Will remain. There's something about him that clicks. Something stable, consistent. Endearing.
Then sometime, i move to Mumbai, or Bombay as it was known then. oh boy....i learnt what freedom meant, and how responsibility came along with freedom. Living in a hostel, following rules, breaking some, making friends. Losing friends. Kavita, Dianah , Sinchan, Ashok.... some more, whose names i forget. Some memories, Movies, dinners. Lost touch with Kavita, Dianah, Ashok. Sinchan, the one who keeps re-appearing, like the story aint over yet. or wasnt ever there, as things go. Mumbai was fun. To learn that you could be physically attracted to someone ... but keep the boundaries. To know that it was a shock for childhood friends to see me with a boyfriend, and sermonize that i ought to get married. (A Hs them, they could probably fuck girls, but me kissing another guy gave them jitters !!! )
Meeting Gagan, and how marriage happened.
Childhood ended :)
And then Adulting happened , in true form
More tales in between, newer memories.
And that's another story for another altogether.
PS..this note is of 2026.Did find Chandrakant. Married twice. Lives in Hyd. And that's just about the contact.
